blondiesBEARista

I was cleaning through some of my stuff and found a poem I had written years ago. It’s funny to look at it now and remember what was going on in my life. I was raised by my step-grandparents and I had a tough relationship with my Grandmother. I dealt with my feelings by writing poetry. I never gave it to her because I didn’t want to but I wrote it to cope with what I was feeling at the time.

Is there something wrong with me
It’s the question I always ask
Is there something wrong with me
Must I always wear this mask?

Can’t I be my own true self
Or must I always hide?
Can’t I show you how I feel
And still have you by my side?

Will you listen just for once
To what I have to say?
Or will you drowned out all my courage
And take my pride away.

Now that I’m grown and out on my own,
It’s a time when we should be friends
Instead we’re apart and not very near
The relationship should be on the mend.

You say that you love me and I’m sure that you do,
But somehow we just don’t get along.
You push all my buttons
This hurts me so much, this means something is definitely wrong.

It cannot continue, it needs to solved
To keep us both happy and sane
I want you to know I love you a lot
But I’m tired of the rotten games.

I thank you for taking me into your life
When I know you had no obligation
But please understand what I’m trying to convey
It’s that I don’t like the situation.

For 2 years now, you’ve ignored my birthday
But you called to remind me of Larry’s
Mine was too close to Christmas you said
So you forget my own birthday.

Those things hurt & I’ll never forget
And it’s hard for me to forgive
For this year you wanted me to go spend
My birthday with some other strangers instead.

I also remember you went to Laurie’s
To spend her 30th birthday
But please don’t forget the ones in your family
For my 28th & 29th birthday’s was special too!

I’m going to end this poem with a note —
I hope that you understand
That all I wanted was a telephone call
To let me know that you cared.

I didn’t want gifts or anything else
I just wanted you to remember
But now I am hurt & sad instead
So let’s just forget the 14th of December

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It is funny to read something I had wrote so long ago, it’s funny to see how I have changed through the years and how the importance of things change in our lives. I had a tumultuous relationship with my grandmother. I got along very well with my grandfather. I miss them and wished things had been better between grandma and me!

Hugz Blondie and Boo Bear